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Screwie

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Screwie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2548
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Screwie : Pet me, I'll take you home.

Screwie's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:54pm<b>ch0sn</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:44pm<b>zoepie</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:35am<b>DreamBigDollFace</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:14am<b>usagi_t</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:56am<b>intothestars_</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 7:10pm<b>slayer447</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:44pm<b>goalie01</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:43am<b>nesteremily</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 5:10am<b>ilcap</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 9:42pm<b>Linebacker74</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 7:30pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 7:38pm<b>lunarjazz</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:38am<b>richy90255</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:07pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:37pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 9:50am<b>pnutzmckracken</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 5:12pm

Screwie's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Screwie's badges

Screwie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50977) - you deserved it (21044)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML

#3785387
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71303) - you deserved it (11949)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by broooooock (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

#3776929
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51832) - you deserved it (4831)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48041) - you deserved it (8260)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46632) - you deserved it (18068)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (11395)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84202) - you deserved it (19349)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127604) - you deserved it (7031)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65090) - you deserved it (6625)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his grandfather's funeral. At the reception, his family members insist on hearing me play piano. After getting positive reactions, I dive into one of my favorites, Rustle of Spring. In 2 seconds everyone bursts into tears. That was Papa's favorite too. FML

#1768165
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52408) - you deserved it (3982)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by pianokiller (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

#1618603
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11012) - you deserved it (71688)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by kandi (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11103) - you deserved it (67656)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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