Screwie

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Offline (the 11/16/2016 at 8:51pm)

Screwie

3Fucked!

ScrewieScrewie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6319
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Screwie : I'm so handsy!
Are you home? We've been looking for you.

Screwie's page activity

Visits<b>Bowery</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 5:10pm<b>Unicornzrule</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 8:46pm<b>GarfieldDaCat</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:02am<b>beatlesfan117</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 6:16am<b>ellabellaboom</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 1:59am<b>SoulEaterSE</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 9:38am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 10:36pm<b>MetalxSoldier</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 4:17am<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 4:10am<b>Participation</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 12:28am<b>kowsee</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:59pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 6:04pm<b>ER1C</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 1:38pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:36am<b>madinphernelia</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 3:47pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:22am<b>nunbunz10</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:34am<b>jill97</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:47pm

Fucked!<b>Unicornzrule</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 2:45am<b>Bowery</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 9:07pm

Screwie's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Screwie's badges

Screwie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

by Paramedic / 11/17/2009 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Rochdale) / Work

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

by xXx / 10/16/2009 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

by bubbles / 10/12/2009 at 1:36am / United States / Animals

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

by ticked / 10/06/2009 at 9:01am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:31am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2009 at 10:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML

by K-9cop / 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm / United States / Love

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

by no_hullabalo / 09/04/2009 at 10:50am / Taiwan (T'ai-wan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to ride my rusty old bike to work, since it will help the environment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handle bars. The handle bars came off and I fell down on the cross bar, busting my nuts. FML

by David / 09/01/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

by urmommmm / 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 11:14am / United States (Virginia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

by twingirl / 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

by madaskueuchiha / 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous