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Screwie

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Screwie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2542
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Screwie : Pet me, I'll take you home.

Screwie's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:54pm<b>ch0sn</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:44pm<b>zoepie</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:35am<b>DreamBigDollFace</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:14am<b>usagi_t</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:56am<b>intothestars_</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 7:10pm<b>slayer447</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:44pm<b>goalie01</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:43am<b>nesteremily</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 5:10am<b>ilcap</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 9:42pm<b>Linebacker74</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 7:30pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 7:38pm<b>lunarjazz</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:38am<b>richy90255</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:07pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:37pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 9:50am<b>pnutzmckracken</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 5:12pm

Screwie's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Screwie's badges

Screwie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

#5679809
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12876) - you deserved it (42488)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:01am - health - by ticked (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

#5562367
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48173) - you deserved it (9986)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML

#5445313
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (5854)

On 09/24/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML

#5154166
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41482) - you deserved it (4378)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by K-9cop (man) - United States

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (2948)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I decided to ride my rusty old bike to work, since it will help the environment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handle bars. The handle bars came off and I fell down on the cross bar, busting my nuts. FML

#4967329
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37883) - you deserved it (9130)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:03am - health - by David (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43804) - you deserved it (22497)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69282) - you deserved it (10364)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45669) - you deserved it (3651)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75624) - you deserved it (6552)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

#4374791
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61082) - you deserved it (3302)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (96524)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63121) - you deserved it (5109)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, this guy I have been hanging out with for a while came over and we were about to do it. He pulled off my clothes and once I was naked I reached for his zipper. He just backed up and said he was a virgin and simply wanted to see me naked. FML

#4191218
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54399) - you deserved it (10993)

On 07/31/2009 at 8:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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