About Screwie : I wanna take you home - I hope I don't scare you off.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (1910)
On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6597) - you deserved it (18846)
On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States
Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (2433)
On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37190) - you deserved it (2141)
On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (33751) - you deserved it (2418)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48842) - you deserved it (1964)
On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (27651)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19331) - you deserved it (5447)
On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (1937)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10710) - you deserved it (37805)
On 10/06/2009 at 9:01am - health - by ticked (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (9187)
On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (5401)
On 09/24/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35190) - you deserved it (3325)
On 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by K-9cop (man) - United States
Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (2178)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)
Today, I decided to ride my rusty old bike to work, since it will help the environment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handle bars. The handle bars came off and I fell down on the cross bar, busting my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32414) - you deserved it (7196)
On 09/01/2009 at 12:03am - health - by David (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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