Screwie

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Screwie

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ScrewieScrewie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5692
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Screwie : I'm so handsy!
Are you home? We've been looking for you.

Screwie's page activity

Visits<b>Participation</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 12:28am<b>kowsee</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:59pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 6:04pm<b>ER1C</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 1:38pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:36am<b>madinphernelia</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 3:47pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:22am<b>nunbunz10</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:34am<b>jill97</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:47pm<b>angerytat</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 1:33am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 9:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:47am<b>JacobRSE</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:27am<b>jshakd642</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:05pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:40pm<b>soccergirl2016</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 11:10pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:55pm

Screwie's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

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Screwie's favorite FMLs

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

by bibou2324 / 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm / Work

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

by ilovechickens / 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my grandmother's funeral there was a fight about inheritance. It was my teenage daughters arguing about what they get when I die. FML

by thammer / 03/24/2012 at 9:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

by weep weep weep / 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML

by joy / 02/07/2012 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

by shellie / 01/13/2012 at 2:48am / Reserved / Health

Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML

by britanyann / 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm / United States / Animals

Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML

by Oja1 / 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love