About Screwie : I wanna take you home - I hope I don't scare you off.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (22947)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17225) - you deserved it (2114)
On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)
Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4292) - you deserved it (57508)
On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18841) - you deserved it (1312)
On 06/12/2012 at 8:24pm - love - by Az (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8215) - you deserved it (17877)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18885) - you deserved it (1150)
On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16773) - you deserved it (1967)
On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4585) - you deserved it (38103)
On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16227) - you deserved it (6530)
On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (1982)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (2159)
On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9217) - you deserved it (29395)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11022) - you deserved it (37278) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19546) - you deserved it (4302) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18919) - you deserved it (4253)
On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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