About Screwie : I wanna take you home - I hope I don't scare you off.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30756) - you deserved it (14307)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25740) - you deserved it (1649)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (3315)
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39098) - you deserved it (2495)
On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22619) - you deserved it (5542)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11364) - you deserved it (24379)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12225) - you deserved it (32640)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12225) - you deserved it (32640)
Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (6448)
On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (3894)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37306) - you deserved it (4193)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21825) - you deserved it (5778)
On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18719) - you deserved it (1813)
On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21994) - you deserved it (2326)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)
Friday 24 May 2013
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