Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ScottieJo

Search for a member

ScottieJo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1189
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ScottieJo : I like reading books, watching movies and playing games. I'm hoping to get into developing either games or movies, but right now I'm a just a student.

ScottieJo's page activity

Visits<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:41pm<b>gracie3434</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 4:42pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:55am<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:28pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:16am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 2:02pm<b>MattTheSlovenian</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:35pm<b>ztress</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:34pm<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 6:30pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:18am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:32am<b>jen1682</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:57am<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 8:38pm<b>Marckkun</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 6:49pm<b>caseDL6</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 8:10pm<b>yolo360</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:25am<b>Futacy</b> - the 09/21/2012 at 6:03pm<b>barnee26</b> - the 09/12/2012 at 10:21am

ScottieJo's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ScottieJo's badges

ScottieJo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59030) - you deserved it (23432)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (426791) - you deserved it (59726)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23450) - you deserved it (79267)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74997) - you deserved it (3905)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML

#878620
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49436) - you deserved it (3867)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm - misc - by lyssanthamum - United States (New York)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13613) - you deserved it (124504)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64342) - you deserved it (4664)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

#278978
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72911) - you deserved it (10353)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

#194766
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94901) - you deserved it (5786)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

#163929
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62978) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84289) - you deserved it (5630)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84289) - you deserved it (5630)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21024) - you deserved it (48794)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49243) - you deserved it (3186)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: