ScottieJo

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ScottieJo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2347
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ScottieJo : I like reading books, watching movies and playing games. I'm hoping to get into developing either games or movies, but right now I'm a just a student.

ScottieJo's page activity

Visits<b>Jkalia</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 12:06pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:04am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 12:50pm<b>PrincessBambii</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:52pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:50am<b>GuessWut</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:28am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:41pm<b>gracie3434</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 4:42pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:55am<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:28pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:16am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 2:02pm<b>MattTheSlovenian</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:35pm<b>ztress</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:34pm<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 6:30pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:18am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:32am<b>jen1682</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:57am

ScottieJo's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ScottieJo's badges

ScottieJo's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

by Mangler / 06/22/2010 at 9:49am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

by GrannyAt22 / 06/21/2010 at 9:28pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrives. As we were going at it, he shits on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

by jo / 02/20/2010 at 5:47am / United States / Intimacy

Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML

by owwie / 02/13/2010 at 3:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

by doesnttastegood / 02/01/2010 at 5:23am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

by Eagle / 01/26/2010 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

by Concussed / 01/17/2010 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2009 at 10:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

by joeheathen / 11/13/2009 at 7:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 11:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

by Brian / 10/26/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy