ScottieJo

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ScottieJo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2279
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ScottieJo : I like reading books, watching movies and playing games. I'm hoping to get into developing either games or movies, but right now I'm a just a student.

ScottieJo's page activity

Visits<b>Jkalia</b> - yesterday at 12:06pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:04am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 12:50pm<b>PrincessBambii</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:52pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:50am<b>GuessWut</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:28am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:41pm<b>gracie3434</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 4:42pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:55am<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:28pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:16am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 2:02pm<b>MattTheSlovenian</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:35pm<b>ztress</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:34pm<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 6:30pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:18am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:32am<b>jen1682</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:57am

ScottieJo's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ScottieJo's badges

ScottieJo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

by Junktown / 07/07/2011 at 10:40am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

by Username / 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I took the motherboard out of my computer so I could put more RAM and a new video card in. While I was in the bathroom my mom threw it all out because it 'looked like garbage'. FML

by computerguy / 01/21/2011 at 8:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Geek

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

by sam / 01/16/2011 at 10:32pm / Transportation

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

by synyster505 / 12/19/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 3:31am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

by perfectlybrokenx / 08/24/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

by JDLAX1924 / 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy