ScottieJo

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ScottieJo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2422
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ScottieJo : I like reading books, watching movies and playing games. I'm hoping to get into developing either games or movies, but right now I'm a just a student.

ScottieJo's page activity

Visits<b>Jkalia</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 12:06pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:04am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 12:50pm<b>PrincessBambii</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:52pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:50am<b>GuessWut</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:28am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:41pm<b>gracie3434</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 4:42pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:55am<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:28pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:16am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 2:02pm<b>MattTheSlovenian</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:35pm<b>ztress</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:34pm<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 6:30pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:18am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:32am<b>jen1682</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:57am

ScottieJo's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ScottieJo's badges

ScottieJo's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

by Pimpleeater / 12/20/2011 at 2:45am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

by bdjsbskl / 10/07/2011 at 1:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

by TheAnnoyedNeighbor / 10/03/2011 at 2:08am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

by Emmy / 10/02/2011 at 2:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

by Sabraynay / 09/28/2011 at 2:47am / Intimacy

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

by why?! / 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 12:43am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy