About ScarlieC : I live in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I've been a waitress and bartender for the past 8 years and I have worked in the city centre for most of those years, which has given me lots of experience with fun, nice, crazy and unpleasant people. FML is one of my favorite ways to have a laugh!
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ScarlieC's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
by dominator152 / 06/10/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by darthmilfious / 03/31/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
by itstillhurts / 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
by RBEE / 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm / Miscellaneous
by Twiddle / 12/07/2009 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
by prickly / 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 1:17am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Kids
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2009 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
by pizzagurl / 05/09/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love