About ScarlieC : I live in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I've been a waitress and bartender for the past 8 years and I have worked in the city centre for most of those years, which has given me lots of experience with fun, nice, crazy and unpleasant people. FML is one of my favorite ways to have a laugh!
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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5849) - you deserved it (37484)
On 09/16/2012 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13586) - you deserved it (31976)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (2909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (3064)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13420) - you deserved it (1380)
On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15792) - you deserved it (26161)
On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (2434)
On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25268) - you deserved it (2408)
On 09/11/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by AnDroidZ_BabY - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20890) - you deserved it (7793)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39574) - you deserved it (2513)
On 06/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by dominator152 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8753) - you deserved it (45897)
On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version
Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (1691)
On 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4257) - you deserved it (51188)
On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6023) - you deserved it (21747)
On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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