Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sawabear

Search for a member

Sawabear

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 136
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Sawabear : Hi! My name is Theta, but you can call me Doctor. Now you may ask yourself, "Doctor Who?" And let me tell you, I never get tired of hearing that. I live inside a device called the TARDIS which stands for... Well, it's my timey-wimey detector. I can travel through all if time an space. I'm originally from Gallifrey, my home planet. My best friend is the Master, but I lost him in the Time War. Those damn Daleks had to ruin everything. I was in love with the Master... And they took him away from me. But anyhow. I have two hearts, and a fob watch that contains a human soul. It allows me to become a human when I am in danger as a Timelord. I'm in my tenth regeneration, and I hope to stay this way for a while. I'm 900 years old, aaaaaaaand..... Oh yeah! I can take you anywhere you want to go. Anywhere. Travel with me! Be my companion. I have a key to the TARDIS... But that's only for full time companions... But if you wish to come along... Allons-y!

Sawabear's page activity

Visits<b>dryersheet</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:00am

Sawabear's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Sawabear's badges

Sawabear's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (111662)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60510) - you deserved it (20223)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48068) - you deserved it (13748)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43102) - you deserved it (18633) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (5703)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43978) - you deserved it (8326)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (5207)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74844) - you deserved it (8763)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, after volleyball practice, I noticed my pants were missing. Now I have to go to work wearing spandex bottoms, all because one of my teammates is a thieving douche. FML

#20033828
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:39pm - work - by Rimmy Jobs (woman) - United States

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (2051)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (2363)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (5462)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (7775)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: