About Sawabear : Hi! My name is Theta, but you can call me Doctor. Now you may ask yourself, "Doctor Who?" And let me tell you, I never get tired of hearing that. I live inside a device called the TARDIS which stands for... Well, it's my timey-wimey detector. I can travel through all if time an space. I'm originally from Gallifrey, my home planet. My best friend is the Master, but I lost him in the Time War. Those damn Daleks had to ruin everything. I was in love with the Master... And they took him away from me. But anyhow. I have two hearts, and a fob watch that contains a human soul. It allows me to become a human when I am in danger as a Timelord. I'm in my tenth regeneration, and I hope to stay this way for a while. I'm 900 years old, aaaaaaaand..... Oh yeah! I can take you anywhere you want to go. Anywhere. Travel with me! Be my companion. I have a key to the TARDIS... But that's only for full time companions... But if you wish to come along... Allons-y!
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Sawabear's favorite FMLs
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
by no tea parties here, gran / 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
by WellShit / 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Rimmy Jobs / 08/21/2012 at 12:39pm / United States / Work
Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML
by em from Cali / 07/28/2012 at 4:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 9:17am / United States / Love
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
by Andrew / 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…