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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (5797)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend told me on facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from facebook for iPhone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30641) - you deserved it (3137)
On 10/21/2010 at 10:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4141) - you deserved it (45291)
On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53990) - you deserved it (4541)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you deserved it (18616)
On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20689) - you deserved it (5098)
On 09/21/2010 at 9:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (21135)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (10864)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (7201)
On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (6101)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (5906)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (8361)
On 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Shelby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to give blood for the first time. When I sat down the guy said "First time?" I told him yes and he replied "Me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (2507)
On 08/19/2010 at 8:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13236) - you deserved it (23314)
On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (6791)
On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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