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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (4182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35302) - you deserved it (7740)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12195) - you deserved it (31252)
On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27689) - you deserved it (2089)
On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (6424)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (1617)
On 07/14/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by j1hill33 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (1675)
On 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm - misc - by argh (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (1994)
On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8606) - you deserved it (38679)
On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28144) - you deserved it (2501)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States
Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (2153)
On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39932) - you deserved it (18571)
On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)
Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (2050)
On 07/06/2011 at 10:52am - misc - by siighh - Australia (Victoria)
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (3792)
On 07/02/2011 at 2:33am - misc - by Kamburgler - United States (California)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26849) - you deserved it (2308)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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