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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6154) - you deserved it (44302)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (3554)
On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25120) - you deserved it (2207)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (1972)
On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States
Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (6028)
On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you deserved it (3331)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to a party. I tried dancing in public for the first time ever. Judging by the whispers, stares and giggles, I'm never doing it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (3336)
On 08/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by Travolta - United Kingdom
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (23353)
On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (1929)
On 08/10/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (1929)
On 08/10/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (1935)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (2448)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)
Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (2489)
On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)
Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (9170)
Today, it's the first day of my Hawaiian honeymoon. We found out that the pool is under construction and our room is infested with roaches. We are paying $375 a night for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (2927)
On 07/26/2011 at 6:33am - money - by buggingout (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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