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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (5452)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27842) - you deserved it (6253)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)
Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (4777)
On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML
I agree, your life sucks (26226) - you deserved it (2950)
On 10/31/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (3912)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18580) - you deserved it (3071)
On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36090) - you deserved it (2369)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (2265)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23278) - you deserved it (2551)
On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14364) - you deserved it (8469)
On 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Nickname (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9706) - you deserved it (20180)
On 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (2389)
On 09/24/2011 at 1:20am - love - by astocks - United States (New York)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20594) - you deserved it (4059)
On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6141) - you deserved it (44168)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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