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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15005) - you deserved it (44122)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29427) - you deserved it (3798)
On 06/01/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13917) - you deserved it (18558)
On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (2976)
On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29311) - you deserved it (9908)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56416) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (3177)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97348) - you deserved it (23462)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (123085)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41511) - you deserved it (5718)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54711) - you deserved it (11471)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47938) - you deserved it (6493)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (2741)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (17924)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56892) - you deserved it (9494)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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