Sarow_96

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Offline (the 01/16/2014 at 12:03pm)

Sarow_96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1185
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Sarow_96 : i live to eat ;)

Sarow_96's page activity

Visits<b>hellofml3739</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 3:04pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:32am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:01am<b>KandyK16</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 6:27pm<b>Dont4GetMe</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 9:54am<b>CobraLazerFace</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 12:01pm<b>Aero25</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 7:30am<b>Bluekaren16</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 1:54pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 11:09am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 9:22am<b>Starter</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 8:06am<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 7:29am<b>sexxxysydney</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:05pm<b>blazon_paradox</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 2:22am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 1:29pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 3:55pm<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 4:09pm

Sarow_96's FML badges

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Sarow_96's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

by tax-man / 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

by cthulhu help me / 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 11:35am / United States / Work

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

by apparentlythereisnokarma / 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

by rattrap / 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

by baby shak / 01/14/2012 at 2:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

by Ixi_the_pixie / 01/06/2012 at 11:16am / United States / Health

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

by Scarred4Life / 01/01/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

by bonertoolong / 11/23/2011 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

by bonertoolong / 11/23/2011 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

by bonertoolong / 11/23/2011 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML

by nocostumeforme / 10/29/2011 at 12:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money