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Sandy300073's favorite FMLs
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML
by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by lamb-chop / 12/02/2008 at 1:32am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave… Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town,… Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie…