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Sandy300073's favorite FMLs
by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by yeaokay / 10/29/2010 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by myles bevan / 09/09/2010 at 6:01am / United Kingdom / Kids
by WTF?!?! / 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by undoable / 09/08/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by neckcrack / 09/07/2010 at 6:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
by tikizombie / 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
by safetyfirst / 07/14/2010 at 11:17am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 4:47am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…