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Sandy300073

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Sandy300073
  • Town/Country : United States Of America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17190
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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Sandy300073's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (9474)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and I. It started with, "I love you", and ended with, "You and your brother were mistakes." FML

#13634494
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (2251)

On 10/29/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by yeaokay - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21400) - you deserved it (15142)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (19792)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (11361)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6679) - you deserved it (28489)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML

#12973891
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8923) - you deserved it (32282)

On 09/09/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by myles bevan - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12859) - you deserved it (32819)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

#12966386
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (7101)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by undoable - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14954) - you deserved it (19196)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9472) - you deserved it (42502)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (18352)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

#11873804
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (18116)

On 07/14/2010 at 11:17am - intimacy - by safetyfirst (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36473) - you deserved it (1692)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (6087)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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