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Sandy300073's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 5:19am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Health
by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Intimacy
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 12:31am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by triplenipple / 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Health
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm / Denmark (Midtjyllen) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…