SallyBaby

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Offline (the 05/22/2016 at 7:36pm)

SallyBaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2281
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SallyBaby's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 7:37pm<b>zero4life123</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:55am

SallyBaby's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of SallyBaby's badges

SallyBaby's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 11:00am / United States / Work

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

by acnecream / 05/03/2013 at 9:23am / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Transportation

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

by Jes_jes18 / 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

by sharibaby / 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (York) / Animals

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

by unforgettablee / 04/29/2013 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

by gibbette / 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Love

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 9:57am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

by naps aren't what they used to be / 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm / United States / Work