SallyBaby

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Offline (the 08/17/2016 at 7:22pm)

SallyBaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2640
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SallyBaby's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 7:37pm<b>zero4life123</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:55am

SallyBaby's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of SallyBaby's badges

SallyBaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

by dpap / 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

by walkingdictionary / 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

by tired / 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

by ChubbyButt / 01/16/2013 at 5:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

by Sydney / 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 7:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Love