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Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat . Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer . What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites . Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers . FML
Today, While Making Love To My Wife, I Let Slip Her Sister's Name. I Don't Think It Would Calm Her Down Much If I Told The Truth: I Was Actually Thinking Of An Ex Grlfriend Who Shares The Same Name. FML
Taday I Had To Blow My Nose. Trying To Be A Considerate Roommate, I Tiptoed Over To The Bathroom In The Dark, Which Would Have Been Fine, If I Hadn't Tripped Over A Chair And Crushed The Art Project That She's Been Working On 4 The Past Month. FML
I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital an having numerous tests performed , I was told mah intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Friday 27 March 2015