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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40827) - you deserved it (50650)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59242) - you deserved it (3294)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38950) - you deserved it (3792)
On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (2418)
On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you deserved it (5204)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42980) - you deserved it (3671)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39608) - you deserved it (3950)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31426) - you deserved it (4137)
On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43212) - you deserved it (2799)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58216) - you deserved it (5851)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48219) - you deserved it (3371)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46144) - you deserved it (10819)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44915) - you deserved it (7239)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42432) - you deserved it (8123)
On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (7357)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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