SailorSTFU

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Offline (the 12/28/2015 at 7:43pm)

SailorSTFU

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1869
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SailorSTFU : AH HA! You looked at my profile! That means you must now talk to meeeee! Because I'm bored....so yes...talk to meeee!!!! Or not. I don't care.

SailorSTFU's page activity

Visits<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:12am<b>insidious12</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:28pm<b>jfb420</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 2:23pm<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 9:27am<b>Cakeisspiffy</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 12:37am<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 9:49pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 8:35pm<b>Habu987</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 3:33pm<b>keithcaz</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 3:30pm<b>jeffro1983</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 5:24am<b>zachatwartles</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 8:12pm<b>Pitbull305</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 12:01am<b>shabbydoooo</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Ffuuu</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 3:21am<b>IvoreeR</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 3:21am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 9:43pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 8:58pm

SailorSTFU's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of SailorSTFU's badges

SailorSTFU's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

by painfetish8021 / 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 7:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

by sasquatch / 09/08/2012 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

by onorexveritas / 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

by SuzyTurquoiseBlu / 08/29/2012 at 1:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

by Sexting / 08/21/2012 at 11:29am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

by jenA / 08/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I was so desperate for any kind of male romantic attention that I googled "prison pen pals", and I'm considering writing to one. FML

by desperategurl / 08/21/2012 at 4:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love