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SailorSTFU

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SailorSTFU
  • Town/Country : High Point, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 March 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 444
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SailorSTFU : AH HA! You looked at my profile! That means you must now talk to meeeee! Because I'm bored....so yes...talk to meeee!!!! Or not. I don't care.

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SailorSTFU's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27373) - you deserved it (4837)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17262) - you deserved it (1196)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (4228)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (6157)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (2174)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14816) - you deserved it (2334)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (2459)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (4697)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (11072)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (3456)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (3456)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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