SailorSTFU

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Offline (the 12/28/2015 at 7:43pm)

SailorSTFU

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1855
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SailorSTFU : AH HA! You looked at my profile! That means you must now talk to meeeee! Because I'm bored....so yes...talk to meeee!!!! Or not. I don't care.

SailorSTFU's page activity

Visits<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:12am<b>insidious12</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:28pm<b>jfb420</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 2:23pm<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 9:27am<b>Cakeisspiffy</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 12:37am<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 9:49pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 8:35pm<b>Habu987</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 3:33pm<b>keithcaz</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 3:30pm<b>jeffro1983</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 5:24am<b>zachatwartles</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 8:12pm<b>Pitbull305</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 12:01am<b>shabbydoooo</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Ffuuu</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 3:21am<b>IvoreeR</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 3:21am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 9:43pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 8:58pm

SailorSTFU's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of SailorSTFU's badges

SailorSTFU's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

by lils / 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous