Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SailorSTFU

Search for a member

SailorSTFU

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 March 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 837
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SailorSTFU : AH HA! You looked at my profile! That means you must now talk to meeeee! Because I'm bored....so yes...talk to meeee!!!! Or not. I don't care.

SailorSTFU's page activity

Visits<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:12am<b>insidious12</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:28pm<b>jfb420</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 2:23pm<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 9:27am<b>Cakeisspiffy</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 12:37am<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 9:49pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 8:35pm<b>Habu987</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 3:33pm<b>keithcaz</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 3:30pm<b>jeffro1983</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 5:24am<b>zachatwartles</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 8:12pm<b>Pitbull305</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 12:01am<b>shabbydoooo</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Ffuuu</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 3:21am<b>IvoreeR</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 3:21am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 9:43pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 8:58pm

SailorSTFU's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of SailorSTFU's badges

SailorSTFU's favorite FMLs

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34968) - you deserved it (6387)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (2976)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (39963)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49758) - you deserved it (4395)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37966) - you deserved it (2312)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (4074)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (4074)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (4074)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34546) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50115) - you deserved it (4725)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (4024)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (4024)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (4024)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (4024)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (4024)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: