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Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19537) - you deserved it (2277)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (2982)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17718) - you deserved it (5901)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States
Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19630) - you deserved it (1271)
On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11624) - you deserved it (3284)
On 01/05/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by musicalducky (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17034) - you deserved it (2586)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16162) - you deserved it (3593)
On 01/05/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Pennepestoem (woman) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8322) - you deserved it (26121)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13650) - you deserved it (3466)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18461) - you deserved it (5347)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15081) - you deserved it (6402)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (1388)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (4099)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (990)
On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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