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50 favourites
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Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (2794)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39585) - you deserved it (2930)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (3537)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (29649)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (1989)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia
Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (5005)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36859) - you deserved it (6129)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (2290)
On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29402) - you deserved it (2726)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (10100) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12351) - you deserved it (28275)
On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (4687)
On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31247) - you deserved it (1871)
Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10048) - you deserved it (35363)
On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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