SGT_DBL

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SGT_DBL

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 July 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 7861
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SGT_DBL : I guess I have to put something here.

SGT_DBL's page activity

Visits<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 5:31pm<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:04am<b>SchindlersLiszt</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:50pm<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 6:02pm<b>hiimolivia</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 9:22pm<b>inlove72</b> - the 03/10/2012 at 10:11pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 1:03am<b>LH0026</b> - the 09/21/2011 at 5:33am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:04pm<b>coffeygirl12</b> - the 08/26/2011 at 8:08pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 08/23/2011 at 12:23am<b>raphanne</b> - the 08/03/2011 at 1:57am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/02/2011 at 10:38pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 08/02/2011 at 5:45pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/02/2011 at 3:04pm<b>luvmyh8rz</b> - the 08/02/2011 at 5:00am<b>unluckiestperson</b> - the 08/01/2011 at 6:09am<b>8sq</b> - the 07/25/2011 at 1:15pm

SGT_DBL's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of SGT_DBL's badges

SGT_DBL's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

by SpideyFace / 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

by fourfootnine / 03/07/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

by Baileyy / 03/01/2011 at 6:18pm / United States / Geek

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

by jm_track / 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

by Ldp56 / 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

by MBC / 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm / United States / Money

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

by nakcba / 02/15/2011 at 5:21am / Transportation

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health