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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48900) - you deserved it (4440)
On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34256) - you deserved it (1781)
On 04/02/2013 at 11:34am - love - by ItsAnanya (woman) - India (Delhi)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17029) - you deserved it (45924)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (4755)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12531) - you deserved it (31997) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (2262)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (2921)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (2667)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
I agree, your life sucks (18568) - you deserved it (2404)
On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4233) - you deserved it (22582)
On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9907) - you deserved it (20639)
On 08/02/2012 at 2:50am - work - by Unwanted - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10279) - you deserved it (22456)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56320) - you deserved it (3356)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8136) - you deserved it (28430)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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