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Rusty2766

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Rusty2766

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 July 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 177
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Rusty2766's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (8506)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40959) - you deserved it (6383)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35947) - you deserved it (9838)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23864) - you deserved it (31346)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36003) - you deserved it (10979)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (2734)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40484) - you deserved it (6335)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38882) - you deserved it (3418)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36842) - you deserved it (35811)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36701) - you deserved it (13770)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49027) - you deserved it (7772)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (6009)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51410) - you deserved it (21022)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (45803)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60063) - you deserved it (8481)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)



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