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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15637) - you deserved it (1219)
On 09/22/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (2084)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:54am - love - by Flighted (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48134) - you deserved it (1980)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15103) - you deserved it (1304)
On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18135) - you deserved it (1605)
On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18280) - you deserved it (4144)
On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (1396)
On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19982) - you deserved it (4783)
On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14629) - you deserved it (8243)
On 08/25/2012 at 11:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13394) - you deserved it (8666)
On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom
Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (6392)
On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States
Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (1689)
On 08/19/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by JMG - United States
Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (5921)
On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)
Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17366) - you deserved it (1340)
On 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by rainbows? more like shitstorms (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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