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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43108) - you deserved it (2373)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:17am - health - by HamSandwich12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86142) - you deserved it (3208)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (10685)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (4475)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16790) - you deserved it (1122)
On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (1812)
On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14014) - you deserved it (1010)
On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18029) - you deserved it (1909)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13591) - you deserved it (9926)
On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (1971)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (4953)
On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5263) - you deserved it (26208)
On 10/18/2012 at 12:50am - money - by Dr_Gip - United States
Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15733) - you deserved it (2867)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16904) - you deserved it (1068)
On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2077)
On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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