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About RoyalSafari : About me
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7878) - you deserved it (585)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6942) - you deserved it (1268)
On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17029) - you deserved it (3425)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (1531)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (28319)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8948) - you deserved it (2547)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (3696)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18270) - you deserved it (6629)
On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10036) - you deserved it (2351)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (1539) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (4289) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (5202)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by gntfmlingnow - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (6911)
On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17372) - you deserved it (26742)
On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14984) - you deserved it (20639)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
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