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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Rothiseph

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Rothiseph
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 991
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Rothiseph's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML

#3878606 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (19163)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

#3853046 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (9400) - you deserved it (38922)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

#3852842 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (43736) - you deserved it (6976)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by fartypeepee (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

#3838963 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (2836)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

#3834940 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (1757)

On 07/17/2009 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (6535)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

#3794107 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (2548)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by megxox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

#3792988 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (3178)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

#3791674 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (64062) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (46159) - you deserved it (2225)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

#3645286 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (6948) - you deserved it (39942)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

#3642198 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (8483) - you deserved it (54721)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by Blackberry (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (5744)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108 (458)

I agree, your life sucks (52353) - you deserved it (8698)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (55201) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)