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RootedPumpkin

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RootedPumpkin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 733
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RootedPumpkin : About me?!
I'm a little bit shy, but once you get to know me, I'm actually pretty silly.
I'm pretty open minded, regardless of your religion and what not.
I watch Adventure Time. It's great. Wanna know me better? Message me.

RootedPumpkin's page activity

Visits<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:40am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:35am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 4:47am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:16pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 3:45am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:01am<b>TaniasaysFMLL</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:39am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 5:33am

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RootedPumpkin's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53053) - you deserved it (11404)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46703) - you deserved it (4737)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48540) - you deserved it (6428)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44064) - you deserved it (2880)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49764) - you deserved it (3757)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39201) - you deserved it (9298)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48168) - you deserved it (4773)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53573) - you deserved it (3374)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (14700)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up and screamed: My older sister had placed a Furby right by my face while I was asleep. This is a common occurrence. FML

#20964432
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37769) - you deserved it (4480)

On 11/20/2013 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51066) - you deserved it (5305)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (3574)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44942) - you deserved it (4105)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53475) - you deserved it (4217)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)



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