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RootedPumpkin

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 9:37pm) | Search for a member

RootedPumpkin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 803
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RootedPumpkin : About me?!
I'm a little bit shy, but once you get to know me, I'm actually pretty silly.
I'm pretty open minded, regardless of your religion and what not.
I watch Adventure Time. It's great. Wanna know me better? Message me.

RootedPumpkin's page activity

Visits<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:40am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:35am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 4:47am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:16pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 3:45am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:01am<b>TaniasaysFMLL</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:39am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 5:33am

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RootedPumpkin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37174) - you deserved it (3636)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41080) - you deserved it (7201)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (15472)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39866) - you deserved it (4526)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

#21234023
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45386) - you deserved it (2644)

On 08/10/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49029) - you deserved it (4732)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46492) - you deserved it (8146)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43653) - you deserved it (3077)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42363) - you deserved it (3378)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49619) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46598) - you deserved it (4469)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47957) - you deserved it (3503)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43554) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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