About RogueWarrior869 : Not much to say. I love writing and gaming.
RogueWarrior869's FML badges
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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
RogueWarrior869's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML
by Blondie / 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML
by mbrooke / 03/23/2009 at 12:31am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
by IHateBagels / 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
by TANT / 03/22/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML
by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
by cjj325 / 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML
by mikej1985 / 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Jesse / 03/20/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation
Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML
by skywayavenue / 03/19/2009 at 1:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
by Miller_Time / 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML
by cannabis_this420 / 03/16/2009 at 9:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
by badgrandchild / 03/16/2009 at 5:01pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
by natty / 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML
by Screwed / 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…