Rockflid

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Rockflid

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 562
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Rockflid's page activity

Visits<b>lonewolf621</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 9:22am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 9:44pm

Rockflid's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Rockflid's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

by WTF? / 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

by MobPerfect / 05/11/2012 at 9:24am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

by blueglover / 03/27/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

by slickrick22 / 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Animals

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays