Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RockDrRoll

Offline (the 01/26/2015 at 3:26am) | Search for a member

RockDrRoll

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 January 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 670
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RockDrRoll : Always up 4 a good laugh.. lolz.

RockDrRoll's page activity

Visits<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:55am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:30pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:18pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:22pm<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 11:11pm<b>OhMyOhMila</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 2:53am<b>vixen_me</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 11:18pm<b>mrcool4847</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:10am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:29am<b>Amberisa</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:47pm<b>oj101</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:45am<b>Ezeryx</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:11pm<b>mufster</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:27am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:16pm<b>mzhaze</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:04pm<b>3051628</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 4:29am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 5:28pm<b>K410</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:40am

RockDrRoll's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of RockDrRoll's badges

RockDrRoll's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31341) - you deserved it (4490)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (5826)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33302) - you deserved it (6734)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (11219)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (13314)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

#21320377
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (3335)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33848) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32087) - you deserved it (15137)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (2549)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38195) - you deserved it (10776)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (22101)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (9596)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: