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by lizzy1843 / 01/26/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I accidentally dropped my engagement ring down a sewer. To my surprise, the sewer water was frozen and my ring sat on top. During my efforts to retrieve it, I had to watch as the ice slowly melted due to the warm day. The ring sank further and further until it was completely gone. FML
by CLH / 01/25/2011 at 1:08pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML
by damnbananas / 01/24/2011 at 3:38pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
Today, one of my boyfriend's friends ranted on about how I am such a crappy girlfriend and how all of his friends don't like me. I just spent over $200 on a surprise party that I invited them all to last weekend. FML
by me / 01/16/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Georgia) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Health
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…