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Roadkill007

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Roadkill007
  • Town/Country : under your bed, inside your closet
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 April 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 789
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Roadkill007 : This thing needs a wall :( Now I feel like a creeper for checking out profs without leaving a shoutout

btw is it just me or does FML load slower these days? fml...

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Roadkill007's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

#17231826
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39277) - you deserved it (2677)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39778) - you deserved it (27802)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML

#15512355
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32111) - you deserved it (3837)

On 03/27/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (7682)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

#15489926
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (4639)

On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (47498)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35983) - you deserved it (22605)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML

#480459
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59832) - you deserved it (8178)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:34pm - misc - by churchgoer (man) - United States (Illinois)



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