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About Roadkill007 : This thing needs a wall :( Now I feel like a creeper for checking out profs without leaving a shoutout
btw is it just me or does FML load slower these days? fml...
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14159) - you deserved it (900)
On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (21796)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway," He then patted my ass and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29608) - you deserved it (3127)
On 03/27/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (7321)
On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)
Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (3665)
On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39959) - you deserved it (6220)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (35567)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29854) - you deserved it (17304)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43364) - you deserved it (6089)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69465) - you deserved it (32921)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170847) - you deserved it (52072)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53568) - you deserved it (6417)
On 03/19/2009 at 11:34pm - misc - by churchgoer (man) - United States (Illinois)
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