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Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you totally deserved it (2235)
On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you totally deserved it (1065)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10999) - you totally deserved it (21850)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at the mall, kissing another man. His partner got up and went to the bathroom, so I went up to my ex. I told him I didn't know he was gay, and he just smiled politely. Then his partner came out and I recognized him as my current boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48977) - you totally deserved it (4130)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:45pm - love - by Lil (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10197) - you totally deserved it (43053)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you totally deserved it (1393)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. A SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44762) - you totally deserved it (1158)
On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43487) - you totally deserved it (3058)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33058) - you totally deserved it (1242)
On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56126) - you totally deserved it (1774)
On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you totally deserved it (23455)
On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43915) - you totally deserved it (2954)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you totally deserved it (1558)
On 08/01/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by Forgotton (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you totally deserved it (8895)
On 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by LockedOut (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years attempted to explain to me how the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a BS in Biology and a MS in Anthropology and I am working on my Phd and she thinks I am being an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you totally deserved it (6193)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:13am - work - by published_anthropologist (man) - United States
