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RiiOT09's favorite FMLs
by Shouldaknown / 08/06/2010 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
by JDLAX1924 / 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML
by XLhottie / 06/06/2009 at 2:48am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
by wellesleybanana / 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated.… Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I… Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend,…