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RetardedBullFrog

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RetardedBullFrog
  • Town/Country : In a pond, Somewhere
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 January 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 3960
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RetardedBullFrog : I just hop around all day. Sometimes I get out of my pond to post stuff on FML. I get help from my butler ( kid in the picture ) as to what to write in it. I enjoy playing sports with my buddies down at the pond next to mine, we usually just play basketball and eat flies.

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RetardedBullFrog's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (15232)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

#17910918
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (3607)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (7317)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

#17909341
132 comments

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (55752)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

#17869528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (2031)

On 09/30/2011 at 7:10am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (17816)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (10497)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (1559)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13098) - you deserved it (38102)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML

#17853037
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24956) - you deserved it (1609)

On 09/28/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Foreverathome - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20855) - you deserved it (6956)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

#17844542
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25081) - you deserved it (2030)

On 09/27/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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