RetardedBullFrog

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Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 10:42pm)

RetardedBullFrog

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8227
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RetardedBullFrog : I just hop around all day. Sometimes I get out of my pond to post stuff on FML. I get help from my butler ( kid in the picture ) as to what to write in it. I enjoy playing sports with my buddies down at the pond next to mine, we usually just play basketball and eat flies.

RetardedBullFrog's page activity

Visits<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:30pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:15am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:34am<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 2:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:25pm<b>Umbreon_Princess</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:00am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:34am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:51pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:30am<b>OMGITSAKITTY</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Alup132</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:19am<b>socoldmusic13</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:59pm<b>Lilsbills</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 12:04am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:26am<b>Bilbo_Swaggins</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:24am<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:26pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:28am<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 5:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:25am

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RetardedBullFrog's favorite FMLs

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

by unhappyelf / 11/14/2011 at 4:53pm / United States / Work

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

by ThatHurts / 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

by Noslo / 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML

by Isoldael / 11/07/2011 at 4:38am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

by roadkill0321 / 11/07/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Love

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2011 at 7:26pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

by oink401 / 11/05/2011 at 11:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

by Lavalise / 11/05/2011 at 3:11am / France / Transportation

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous